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Posts Tagged ‘Saudis’

Athletics - Olympics: Day 9If Saudis like to be the first in anything, it will be on visiting a new place. Whether it’s a new restaurant or a new vacation destination, a Saudi would love to claim that he or she is the first Saudi who discovered that place among all Saudis. The reason behind it goes back to genetics, see Saudis’ DNA contains so many genes that strives for uniqueness and social acceptance; and if you don’t believe me, take a blood sample of any Saudi and test it… its all about science. The feeling when a Saudi tell their friends about a new place that they visited last week or during their summer vacation, is a feeling similar to when DJ Tiesto drops the beat and you are high on ecstasy; it’s not like I know how it feels, but they say it’s a feeling that you are on cloud nine.

I am not against the idea of being the first to visit a new place, but don’t come to me and rub it on my face, telling me that I need to go that place and see this and see that, as if I didn’t visit this country, I will be doomed for life.

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sweet-thursday.jpgEven after the weekend days were changed from Thursday and Friday, to Friday and Saturday… for Saudis Thursday will be still a special day and always will have its own good feeling to it. See, for Saudis when Thursday was the first day of the weekend, it was associated with going out spending some quality time with family and friends. In addition, Thursday is where married couples find intimacy and romance, since there is no work that day and both of our love birds are relaxed and in peace; I hope. After Thursday was changed and became the last working day, still Saudis are wired with the old system, therefore, Thursdays will still be a baby-making-day for so many. Saudis love Thursdays so much, they will stay up all night to make sure they spend every minute and fight their body not to go to sleep; eyes are bloodshot red, energy is at its lowest… but still awake for the sake of our beloved Thursday.

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oilWhen Saudis get sick or don’t feel well … doctors and hospitals are not their first option. After going to bunch of exorcists in the neighborhood to cure their sickness with no results, Saudis will go back to their homes to come up with remedies that they inherited from their old ones and pray for the best. See, back in the days, medicine wasn’t that advance, so people used to cook their own medicine and mix shit up in order to cure themselves. And until now Saudis swear by those home remedies. Let me give you an example of what I mean, for instance if you suffer from stomach ache and nausea you will be recommended to drink cold 7up on an empty stomach, it has to be 7up not any other soft drink…not sure why. Another interesting remedy is rubbing extra virgin olive oil (make sure its virgin, don’t ask me how to figure it out but I am sure there are a lot of ways to know if the olive oil is virgin or not), rub the oil into your head if you have sever headache and keep pouring oil until you look like a bowl of hummus.

With the social media age, now people became all of sudden specialized doctors, so next time you don’t feel well just ask anyone in your social media groups and he or she will recommend you some BS remedy.

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2013_chevrolet_tahoe_4dr-suv_ltz_fq_oem_1_1280Since inception, Saudis fell in love with full size SUVs, they are the vehicle for any household in Saudi Arabia.  If you ask any Saudi, why buy those bulky-big cars? The answer usually will be: it is the prefect family car. For some Saudis, the average number of their family members are usually between 5 to 10 people (this include of course the housemaid/nanny), therefore, squeezing all those people into their beloved SUV is a no brainer. In fact, not only carrying that much people what make those SUVs so appealing … See, Saudis when they travel or go camping in the desert, they pack their whole house along with them … to make sure they didn’t forget anything. You will see in the back of their car stuff like BBQ grill, pressure cooker, microwave, a large bag of basmati rice … so big you can feed a village, and also you might see a living room sofa along with 55”inch Samsung LED TV.

In conclusion, full size SUVs is not just a vehicle for Saudis … its their second home, main source of transportation, and also its their kids play ground. Next time you see a Chevy Tahoe on the streets, don’t think it is a school field trip, it is just a Saudi family going to the supermarket.

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Let us start a business! This sentence you will hear a lot when Saudis some how get excited when they talk about money and want to become rich in no time. Nowadays, you browse the internet or go to any book store (basically Jarir book store the one and only) and all you see is stuff on how to be come rich and successful, in addition to success stories of millionaires; how they started from nothing and now they have a fortune. This kind of B.S what makes young fellows motivated. And I say young, since majority of the time the idea of starting a business comes from them and usually they are single not married, because once you get married those ideas and plans of having your own business will be something you day dream about.

See, when it comes to business, your passion and mastery into what you do is what gives you the competitive edge to succeed. Not the fantasy stories that you hear about a poor man started selling indian spices on the street of Saudi and somehow he became a multimillionaire. Selling hot beverages; tea on the street or starting a laundry service is not the answer to where you want to reach if it’s not supported by the basic business 101 fundamentals.

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snapchatWhen it comes to the social media game, Saudis with no doubt are always on top of it. That is why when the world introduced SnapChat … it took Saudis minimal effort to figure it out (I think); poking it here and there … scratching their heads … then Eureka! then the rest is history. Let me break it down for you, SnapChat didn’t come with a user manual … so expect people to use or should I say abuse it the way they like. Is SnapChat meant to record every minute of your day? or share with the world your opinion on everything? or show  how your sense of humor is absolutely has nothing to do with comedy? or report high school gossip? or ask the world to admire your ass? no one knows but I still feel that Saudis figured it out.

Side note: Apparently, Twitter is not enough to express your self and convey your ideas. You need now to watch opinionated-people video taping themselves expressing themselves. For attention-whores SnapChat came to the rescue. I am not against SnapChat, but why do I feel this App gathered the stalkers and self-centered and put them all in one platform to deal with each other … genius!

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whatsapp-wallpaper4WhatsApp is so Saudi you will think they invented this smart phone application. The App icon is green and white similar to the Saudi flag, you know it is meant to be Saudi from day one, but who are we kidding? Last thing Saudis invented was mixing apple juice with sparkle water and calling it “Saudi champagne”.

Phone calls are so 1994, now Saudis use WhatsApp as their main channel of communication; from greetings to asking about each other… for a nation that treats socializing as a religion, WhatsApp made their life much easier.

From my experience I realized that there are five types of WhatsApp users in Saudi:

  1. The Comedian: Specialized in sending funny videos, pictures, and jokes. This user is the life of the party.
  2. The Mutw’a (religious): Specialized in sending prayers (دعاء), some kind of greetings with prayers, and all kind of religious texts. This user makes you feel as if you are an infidel and trying to convert you to islam .
  3. The Reporter: Specialized in sending breaking news… the Reporter will always send the latest and current news from any kind, even if it is fake; the reporter will always share them first.
  4. The Doctor: Specialized in sending all kind of gibberish cures and treatments. For instance they will send something like if you mix lemon with dog shit and rub it on your forehead, you will get rid of headaches for ever.
  5. The audience: Specialized in not sending anything, just watching and replying with smileys ;).

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When Saudis travel they usually carry a reasonable amount of luggage with them; but some how when they come back from their long lovely vacation, their luggage magically doubles in number… if you wonder why is that?  Well, Saudis find stuff that are sold overseas very appealing, even if you can find the exact same stuff in Saudi.  For instance, Saudis will always argue that chocolates like Kitkat, Cadbury, Toblerone, etc. taste much better if you got it from Great Britain than just buying it from a local shop in Saudi.  In addition, telling your friends that you bought your laptop from the U.S., makes your laptop extraordinary comparing to laptops sold in Saudi… I am sure you guys got the idea!

Ironically, some people who strive for uniqueness may think that certain things such as name brand clothes or electronics can only be found outside of the country, not knowing that everyone else in town owns the same thing… the only difference is that they bought it from one of the few local shopping malls.  What I suggest for travelers is not to worry about how they can squeeze every non sense item in their bags, instead they can spend their money in site seeing and enjoy their trip.

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With it’s recognizable green cap and exotic red bottle,  Crystal hot sauce has a magical ability to make any type of food taste great.  Even if your food does not taste that good, just add some Crystal drops on your food and you will experience the best meal you have ever had.  Many Saudis like to carry Crystal hot sauce in their pockets, waiting for the right moment to use it.   Let’s say you are invited to your mother-in-law’s house for a lovely family dinner and you don’t like her food, you can’t be rude & not eat… right?  Here is when Crystal comes in handy… you will eat everything on the table and make your in-laws happy.

Go to any dinner party in Saudi and I am 100% positive that you will find Crystal bottles standing with pride on the dinning table or on the floor (for people who like to eat on the floor).  You can put Crystal on your Ka’bsa, scrambled eggs, sandwiches, fries, and potato chips… you name it!   Don’t be surprised if Saudis start drinking the hot sauce or serve it as a cocktail drink in restaurants.  I once saw bunch of Saudis drink Crystal straight from the bottle, so I think it can be considered as a beverage.

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In different parts of the world, people wait until they retire and save enough money or go through a mid-life crisis so they can get a fancy car.   However in Saudi, it’s a different story.  Saudis love their fancy rides and often strive to own one of those limited edition one of a kind cars… I am talking about those cars that if you look at their price tag you think its a freaking phone number.  What’s funny is that not only old people own those fancy cars in Saudi… don’t be surprised if you are stopped at a traffic light and the person who is driving the Lamborghini next to you  is a kid who has barely passed puberty with a little hair on his face which he likes to call a mustache.  In fact, most people who drive fancy luxurious cars in Saudi are the young (spoiled/brats) citizens of Saudi.

It’s nice to own a Ferrari and see people turning their heads staring at your fancy ride when you are driving by.   But what if  you heard that there is another person who owns the exact same Ferrari as you… then it will be your worst nightmare, right?

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