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Archive for August, 2018

VimtoSo big, so black, so thick, so sweet … I am describing the most popular beverage Saudis like to drink during the holy month of Ramadan when the time comes to break their fast. No one really knows why Saudis really enjoy Vimto only in Ramadan than any other month. See, Ramadan and Vimto bond goes way back in history … Rumor has it, that this syrupy drink was mistaken with oil when Saudis were looking for the black gold all over the kingdom; FYI Vimto and oil has almost the same color, consistency, and texture. Back in the days, while Saudis were drilling for oil … all of a sudden Vimto ejaculated out of the ground and showered everyone around that area, and they thought it was oil, but someone tasted this mysterious substance and said no way this is oil; its so sweet (as if he really tasted oil before!). Afterwards, the Saudis decided to make it a beverage for celebration since the real oil was discovered few minutes after. And there is no better time for celebration other than breaking your fast in Ramadan with your family drinking Vimto.

Side note: You can’t drink Vimto straight from the bottle, since it has a texture of maple syrup, therefore, you need to mix it with water … and to get the right drinkable consistency you need a professional chemist to do so, because it doesn’t come with instructions.

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manama_skylineOnce I asked a Western fellow who works here in Saudi Arabia, what is the best thing you experienced in Saudi? He said … Bahrain. See, Bahrain is the Las Vegas of the middle east (sorry Dubai), at least to some Saudis it is the sin city where they can get drunk as a fish and fornicate anything that walks. But Bahrain has also a PG 13 option to Saudi families who plan to go there and spend their holidays and weekends … But I don’t want to write about Bahrain as if you are reading from TripAdvisor, but let us give this kingdom (yes it is a kingdom) a credit where credit is due, they have nice shopping malls, live entertainment for all ages, and of course we can’t forget the cinemas and movie theaters … you know how Saudis and cinemas goes, we love movies, that is why we go to Bahrain … to watch movies; not sure which movie to watch but I just want to sit in a big dark room with bunch of strangers looking at a big screen and eat popcorn. Welcome to Bahrain! or as I like to call it Saudi Arabia’s playground.

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oilWhen Saudis get sick or don’t feel well … doctors and hospitals are not their first option. After going to bunch of exorcists in the neighborhood to cure their sickness with no results, Saudis will go back to their homes to come up with remedies that they inherited from their old ones and pray for the best. See, back in the days, medicine wasn’t that advance, so people used to cook their own medicine and mix shit up in order to cure themselves. And until now Saudis swear by those home remedies. Let me give you an example of what I mean, for instance if you suffer from stomach ache and nausea you will be recommended to drink cold 7up on an empty stomach, it has to be 7up not any other soft drink…not sure why. Another interesting remedy is rubbing extra virgin olive oil (make sure its virgin, don’t ask me how to figure it out but I am sure there are a lot of ways to know if the olive oil is virgin or not), rub the oil into your head if you have sever headache and keep pouring oil until you look like a bowl of hummus.

With the social media age, now people became all of sudden specialized doctors, so next time you don’t feel well just ask anyone in your social media groups and he or she will recommend you some BS remedy.

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